BOOK REVIEW TURNED JOURNAL ENTRY: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years- Donald Miller

Ok, I got this book from the library and started reading it last week. This is by my new favorite author, Donald Miller; Blue Like Jazz. The book started out a lot less deep and thought provoking then it ended up, and all is forgiven because later in the book you realize that was planned, purposeful and it calls for the reader to not just read the book, but experience it. (The latter 3/4ths of the book was finished in one day. AMAZING!)  The book was also praised by my Hoover Jr. High friend Jamie Tworkowski, so I knew it had to be good. Good? No...more like a very timely, important and awesome encounter. This was one of those times where the Holy Spirit had me read something to change me. To further reiterate that point, this book is about "The Story"...the process of a story, understanding what makes a story good, viewing your life as a sub-story within a bigger story, and engaging. 3 other times this week, all from different sources, the Lord has brought this concept and exact language to my awareness! I am listening!

So, read the book! It has mind blowing true stories, like about how he rode his bike across America! It is filled with riches and beauty all the way through. But this book review is really about how his story affected mine:
Personally this book helped me organize my theological world view. Years ago it used to look like a cloud of this:
     GrAcE...ReAlIty...SuPeRnAtUral...PaiN...PeAce...TrAgedy...UnSAfe...SaFE...DiFFereNce...NorMAl...

Then, throughout the course of the last few years I realized it looked like this:
                     Grace
Grace             ME                 Grace
                    Grace
...So, I used to live from the belief that grace is for salvation, the removal of you sins, and a positional inheritance in Christ...but NOT for living here on Earth. Meaning, one becomes a Christian by the kindness and grace of GOD, but then it is up to them to prove, demonstrate and strive for righteousness by being a disciplined, 'good' person, as an offering of thanks to God. I was very anxious and filled with a lot of shame during those years. Go Figure! So over the past 5 years I have come to live from the corrected belief that the grace of GOD is what changes, motivates and empowers one to love God, live for HIM, and love others beyond anything that we are capable of  ourselves. That is when my inside life started changing...peace, joy, forgiveness of self, love of others, healing.
I also truly and 100% believe that when Jesus told us to pray that the Kingdom come on Earth as it is in Heaven He meant it because it is POSSIBLE! No tears, no sickness, no despair, poverty, fear, cancer, addictions, disabilities...the list goes on are found in Heaven. Do you know that everytime someone was brought to Jesus in the Gospels He healed them?! YES! Not just the God fearing, faith filled ones alone! The problem people (hint: we are all problem people!)! So, I believe that as Christians we are ALL able to access this type of revolutionary power to love and pray for people and see the KINGDOM (miraculous) infect their problems and lives. God's power is not just for the elders, priests, nuns, deacons, blah blah blah...it is for ALL who have been saved and changed from the inside out. We have Him, we can give Him in the unique and beautiful ways He has created us to give!  I believe this with all of my heart. I do NOT believe that God gives anyone sickness or death to teach them something. THEREIN LIES THE TENSION! I have prayed for many, many people to be healed, to have that 'problem' fixed.I gave seen tons of prayers answered,  some miraculously, and I have seen tons of prayers 'not' answered. There is a drawer of un-filed papers in my mind concerning these...the mysteries of walking with God. The gray scale of prayer...does it matter? does it work? are things any different then what they would be?  ...Unequivocally YES! BUT! Maybe it is not just in the answering or not answering of a prayer a certain way, but in the process of the one who is praying, or being prayed for, engaging with their Creator, that deposits a bit more of HIS love and mercy into our souls and answers the deeper questions.

Over the past few years I have had some offensive blows to my faith. A miscarriage, the death of a friend who was a young mom in her early 30's due to cancer, the death of two seperate dear friends's babies, the death of JP's step dad, the on-going sacrifices made by a friend waiting for her child's healing, the crushing blows of disappointments that others around me have endured, not to mention the natural disasters such as Haiti, Chile and Japan. Seriously...how are we to pick ourselves up and believe that GOD is good, we are safe, and HE is in control? Because HE is! Last night I realized I had to redefine my heart's compass of safety. I so love Tim and my kids that I can easily opt out of a worthy story for a pain- free, happy and boring life! I do have a happy life...that is not a bad thing! We are so blessed to be in the place we are in. Overwhelming blessed...it can haunt me if I am not careful. However, blessed, also, are those who are poor in spirit...for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. The problem with a simplistic view of  happiness is that it forfeits us from living the life that GOD has designed for each of us. It chains us to the fear that we have to hold on, play it safe and guard what we have.

This is what I learned: The only movies I repeat watch are happy ones: White Christmas, Ramona and Beezus, Elf. However, the really, really rich movies are the ones I have stored in my memory: Braveheart, Big Fish, Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Same with books. The books that have changed me on the inside I never re-read because, to be honest, they all contained some serious cries and pain...and I do whatever I can to avoid serious crying and pain!  I realized last night that I can tend to internally live like that too.  I can hold on to Tim so tight that I can forget to love him more fearlessly. I can worry so much about my childrens's futures that I taint today with sadness. I can feel so devastated over world events that I forget to live and give from a place of peace, faith and joy. It is not all about the happy endings here on earth. It is about living a good story. A good story is only made from a place of adventure, risk and yes, pain. However, in Christ, any pain is purposed and redeemed. This may sound like a contradiction...but it is not. He doesn't give us pain, but we are all going to experience pain here on earth at some level. In Christ though we always have the hope that He will see us through, fellowship with us through. Grace is the friendship and promises of GOD over our earhtly lives that allow us to live and love from freedom and joy, and be comforted and strengthened when the mysteries of tragedy threaten us.

Miller proposes that The Happy Ending is found at a wedding feast, with drinking and dancing in Heaven, when all is made right. I have to say, I completely agree. In the meantime?

 I want to live the GREAT story He has for me! I want to stop fearing pain but look my future into her eyes and conquer her. I want to be more open to going places and doing things that don't match up with my orderly lists and tasks. I want to meet different people and hear their stories. Maybe, just maybe, I want to travel further than the state of Florida (I heart Florida!). I don't want to waste days worrying about how I would survive if I lost a child or my husband. Or meditate on the distasteful realities of aging. Or ponder the countless What If's!  I want to give to others the joy, peace and healing HE gives to me. I want to be beautiful, creative, funny and when all is said and done, I want to say:
"I wouldn't have changed a thing!"

Spring Break Suprise!!!

Since we went to my Mom and Dad's house a few weeks ago, I wasn't planning on taking an official Spring Break this week along with the rest of Leon county kids. However, half of the girls in my bootcamp were on Spring Break, and Tim had to be in Savannah from Tuesday- Thursday. Sooo...I surprised the kids on Tuesday morning. I told them to meet me in the kitchen for a meeting. I said, "Well...you have 3 choices. We can have a stressed out day homeschooling...or a relaxed day homeschooling... or we can SCRATCH SCHOOL and go to the beach with Aunt Meggan, Uncle Aaron and your cousins AND THEN spend the night there!" I LOVED their faces.  Cole was loosing his breath :) So we packed up, drove Tim to the airport and headed out to the beach. Thank God Aaron is such a cool, involved Uncle... he swam with the older three in the cold water :)! I have to say though, St. George Island has been one of my favorite beaches since we first discovered it over a decade ago. Paradise! Whitney took to the beach just like a good Kubilus Girl...she loved it the whole time. Meggan and I got to catch up in between watching the kids. After the beach we came home, took showers, made Spaghetti and let the kids have some ice cream. They all played great...I love Owen and Clark together. Lily played with Storm, the cat, the entire time :) Meggan and I played each other in Scrabble. We cut the game early and had a considerable less amount of smack talk...mainly because we were sooo tired! Wednesday morning we went to the park (the pictures below are of the first park...but they had bees everywhere, so we went somewhere else), ate lunch and headed back to Tallahassee.  I was so wiped out that I took a monster nap with Whitney after we showered off at home. Then I let the kids watch a movie why I took care of Whitney and dinner. Whenever Tim goes out of town I read to them from Jim Herriot's Treasury for Children. We have poured over those adorable stories for years! I hope they always tuck those story away as memories when they are adults. Today we had that relaxing but l.o.n.g. homeschool day. Tim is on his way now. 

      Also, I will feature a FAVORITE THINGS section in each update about one of my favs! Check it out below in the funky frame:

 Carrabelle has amazing parks! Too bad about those bees!

 The Lighthouse there:

 One of my all time favorite drives!

 I took this without looking...just lifted the camera and shot!

 Aaron's church:

 A tired, make-up less Mommy!

 I mean COME ON!!!

 My gentleman and scholar:

 I LOVE these books for pre-K and Kindergarten! I have used them with all 3 kids. So many books are terribly paced for that age group...these are fantastic for both phonics, writing and reading!

FASHION EMERGENCY:
Owen has always been my child who is most concerned about what he wears. Now he is totally throwing off my game: He wants to wear his long sleeve day clothed to bed with a pair of pajama pants. Ok, ok,,,well maybe I am known for this as well...JP calls it my mullet outfit...Nice on top...party on the bottom. But seriously! I always match. He is wearing all sorts of madness. Now he is wearing Tim's socks 24/7. He hikes them up his little legs and wears them all day and all night. It is like 80 degrees and it's only going to get warmer! Is this indicitive of the future???

FAVORITE THING OF THE WEEK:
My Vera Bradley Planner. It has the monthly layout at the beginning of each month, and then each week is laid out as seen below. Colors and paper quality are excellent and each week ends with an "I am thankful for..." section. I love these planners. "

The Lighter Side of Things...

Big News This Week in The Batey Household?

*Cole beat his Super Mario Galaxy game. Wii has been a funny thing to find the balance in here. We have decided that the kids can play Wii Fri-Sun. This allows thier heads and more importantly their hearts to be in school and chores during the week. The balance works for us this year. But Cole is really into his Wii games. If you grew up on Nintendo like I did in the 80's you would be amazed by the graphics now. It must be like when people born turn of the century saw horses to cars to landing on the moon! Anyway, good for you Cole!

Lily opened another store. That girl is such an entrepreneur! She has the whole check-out line thing going on! Down to the bags. I really did pay her this week to rub my feet...she has hands as strong as an adults! Ahhhhh:)

Owen's reading is going very well. We have fun working on our 'slient e' words and spending time together.

Whitney had a cold, but came around. I was up from 2:30-4am ...then had to wake up for bootcamp at 4:45am... on both Thursday and Friday. Thank the LORD for His very real help and Tim's caffeinated Espressos in the am! HA! I slept from 10pm until 8:30 on Saturday and woke up as gleefull as Maria Von Trap when she was signing in the hills of Austria!

Tim is currently playing soccer, so I am enjoying a little bit of ALONE TIME! He is going to Savannah this week, so I need it now:)  Cole has been begging me for a Spring Break...well, I just may take the kids to the beach on Tuesday with Aunt Meggan. Shhhhh...we will see. I only have bootcamp on Monday and Friday.

OH! Lily and I went shopping so I could get a few tops at Old Navy this week. ON is not always my favorite store, but with 4 kids, the price is right! Plus, I have a baby...I need washable clothes. I did get some cute shirts though, and Lily and I had fun. She really, truly helps me pick out what is cute and what is not cute! She is an amazing girl.

OK...over and out!

Spring is HERE!

Tallahassee-ians suffer through extreme HEAT, extreme COLD, and the worst case of pollen known to planet Earth. This week I could literally TASTE the pollen every time I went into my car (which was parked in the garage!) However we LOVE this city! Why? Because for a few months in the Spring and a few months in the Fall we delight in Utopian temperatures and beautiful birds & blooms. Yesterday a few of my favorite Tallahassee families met us up at Winthrop park for an evening get together. Here are a few pics: *camera phone has no flash :( * 

Owen, Sarah and Adah

 Ashley, Margot, me and Itzel (my Thrusday Bible study friends)

                                                                         Here's Kristy...

 I heart this girl! Margo(t)

 Soccer Champions Luis & Tim

 Gorgeous Margot who has an infant!

These are some of the amazing families we meet over the last year at E3. I am SOOOO grateful for the girls coming into my life at the perfect time! God has always blessed me with truly amazing girlfriends. My whole life!

My Date with Cole

About 3 weeks ago this Monday I took Cole on a swift date to Mc. Donald's and Books a Million during Lily's ballet lesson. Cole and I went to a very modernized Mc.D's and I bought the boy a blizzard. I love each of the following pictures and didn't want to choose from them, so I added them all. From the time Cole was born he has been a fairly steady stream of movement and thoughts. Life with him is anything but boring. I am sooo proud of the gratitude that has developed in his soul, and his contemplation of the deeper things of life. He is so adorable to me too...exactally the type of boy I would have wanted to marry in elementary school...move over Hank!
He did fairly well handeling the sugar...for those of you who know him personally :)
At the book store he bought the tri-pack of The Mysterious Benedict Society. He read the first book, a 500 pager, in less than 24 hours. I used to think he was lying to me in the past when I told him to go read something and an short time later he was done. I would drill him and drill him...and sure enough I discovered he was a 'speed' reader. He gets that from both of his grandmothers!

Spring Soccer and a quiet week...

9:15am last Saturday Tim, the 4 kids, drinks, baby bags, coffee, soccer balls, change of clothes, the kitchen sink and I loaded the van...VAN! ahhh, who am I???, ...as we headed over to what Owen called, "Tom's Brown Park" (aka. Tom Brown Park). Coach Tim lead the ambiguously named 'BLUE' team to a 5-1 victory...but parents aren't really supposed to keep score. We then drove over to a special treat lunch at our fav Tallahassee hot spot Cabo's, then drove to Ross & Stacy's new place in Southwood...hung out for about an hour and then went to Morningside Baptist off of Pedrick for Owen's first Skeeters practice (SO CUTE!)...then we loaded back up and Tim watched the kid at the insanely over populated Tom's Brown Park so I could get a quick 4 miler in with Jess and Crissa. A run on sentence to match the run on day. So fun though in every which way. I also have photos of a mini shoot I put Whitney through in the most adorable socks you will ever see from my famous friend Angel :)   Now these are not professional photos or anything, but the one of the socks is decent. It has been a productive and quiet week on the home front. Everyone got lots of school done the last 3 days, and my bootcamp has returned outside and picked up some. A generous portion of each of my days is spent feeding my delightfully ravenous children. I almost never have spoiled left overs because they eat it all up for lunch. I have to say that during the times that I feel snappy, unkempt and under productive in the way of chores and school, my kids eat well. That's a nice constant. Struggling with the grocery bills a few years back has still quickened me to gratitude in the realm of having clean, healthy and yummy foods for the kids. I still am very much grateful!
   Spoiler of the week: we canceled cable and had Netflix streamed. So, I decided to watch the Masterpiece Theater mini-series Downton Abbey (NOT for kids)...and after cramming through 7 episodes (I watch TV like I read...compulsively until its through)...I realized it was AN UNRESOLVED TV SHOW  ***NOT***  a MINI SERIES! That would be the equivalent of watching Pride and Prejudice and STOPPING when Elizabeth Bennet is visiting her friend Fanny and gets the letter from Mr. Darcy and BAM! ITS OVER! I quit TV. Such a time leak.

Without further ado...

             Whitney's in a Mega Saucer!

 True Love...

 Here are those SOCKS:

 

 Lily and Owen studied Joseph as part of their Ancient History...so I had them make their own version of his coat outside: